"I feel like it's weirder to
not have anxiety than to have it. Because I feel like if you're not
scared, you're not paying attention." - Aparna Nancherla
I describe my work with clients as being an integration of a few theoretical
perspectives: interpersonal, humanistic, psychodynamic, and multicultural. I
believe that human beings operate for reasons that are largely subconscious.
Clients, like anyone, might have adopted a defense mechanism or way of being
early in life that was adaptive and over time, the costs of operating in that
way might outweigh the benefits for them. Or, they might have internalized
messages or agendas that are not their own, leading to inner conflicts. I
believe these types of possibilities to be within the framework of people’s
cultural backgrounds that provide the precipitates to be introjected.
In session I strive to honor this
complex and organic nature of people and their lives. I believe that how
clients fill silence is most diagnostic; I focus on listening with my third ear
and finding what unspoken messages might underlie their narratives. As such, I
believe that there are very few things that clients *should* do, or *should*
talk about in session. I believe that what I can consciously see is just the
tip of the iceberg and I strive to find what is beneath the water: what makes
clients tick, their worldviews, what they are trying to tell themselves, what
is said through slips of the tongue or through what is left unsaid, etc. To
make each session count, I try to remember to ask myself: in case this is the
last time I see this person, how can I best help them to feel heard and
understood?
"Maybe she's born with it. Or maybe she's trapped in a
societal prison of impossible beauty standards." -Aparna Nancherla